If you read Marvel comics with any frequency, you’re probably aware their new crossover “event” begins in October. Two teasers were released today to prove it: One shows the flesh on Wolverine’s hand and wrist burning off, exposing his adamantium bones. The other image depicts Thor’s Mew-Mew (Mjolnir, if you want to be a nerd about it) all broken ‘n crumbly ‘n shit.

Now, I’m no marketing genius but if you are going to tease your “new” event as being the next “epic” thingy shoved down our throats… At the very least, shouldn’t you probably create ads NOT showing shit we’ve all seen happen like, fifty times, in the last couple of years?

Remember the last event at Marvel? Sure you do… We’re still knee-deep in the less-than-awesome, mediocre-at-best (that’s me trying to be nice) bust-up called Avengers vs X-Men. When Marvel began teasing their lil’ Zombies with info about all of the mind-blowing fights they would soon be reading, here’s HOW THEY DID IT.

Yup, they teased readers with “new” fights using the exact same match-ups of Avengers and X-Men that had already fought before… And now, with their new teaser campaign– Marvel is repeating the past yet again.

If anything, the hubris inherent in believing such bald-faced repetition is “OK” shows me Marvel doesn’t give a shit about giving us anything new. It could actually be contested Marvel Decision Makers have felt this way for years. But the question remains: How are die-hard fans supposed to get excited about “events” they’ve already seen over and over… Especially another “War” in the Marvel Universe? Are there so few long-time readers left that Marvel is willing to alienate them again– so soon after the AvX regurgitation? Maybe this “War” is a last-ditch attempt to relive the “glory days” of short-term sales bumps brought by Marvel’s Civil War. But probably not. As out of touch as Marvel seems to be, I doubt anyone there truly believes they’ll be seeing CW-level sales out of this new line-wide story disruption… Even if the word “War” seems to spark a Pavlovian response amongst comic readers that is favorable to most publisher’s profits.

Rumor is this “War” will either be the Ultron War by Brian Michael Bendis or Dan Slott’s Reckoning War (it’s more likely this one since it will be announced at a Spider-Man panel) which have been hinted at for what feels like forever. I, for one, could not be more apathetic toward this announcement. Let’s get “real” here… As a long-time reader and one-time fan of Marvel, I’m obviously not the intended audience for this kind of repetitive crap. (And I haven’t been for some time.)

Given this admission, you’re probably wondering why I’m bothering to post about this upcoming “War” at all. The answer is pretty simple: I’m fairly pissed about it. Never has Marvel’s nickname– The House of Recycled Ideas– been more apt than today. This is yet more concrete evidence that Marvel has no intention of letting up on these “events”… So much so, they’re announcing a new one while readers are in the middle of a different one. Sadly, this type of shit is known to give many readers “event fatigue”, causing them to exit the industry. Their exodus (it happens virtually every time “events” occur back-to-back) will result in even lower long-term sales… At a time when traditional comic publishers can’t afford to lose one more paying customer.

And there’s one more thing. 2011′s Fear Itself “event” was promoted using ads showcasing Captain America’s broken shield. This year’s new crossover features Thor’s broken hammer. One can only hope– for the next “event” after “War”– that Marvel will promote their newest, bestest 2013 “event” with a shot of Iron Man’s shattered codpiece… You know, just to drive home this series of lame, not-so-subtle euphemisms.

The latest Marvel Event Teasers can be seen after the jump.

Via[CBR]