Marvel Announces Plans for Spider-Man’s 50th Anniversary, Fans Yawn

I have been waiting in anticipation for YEARS to hear news of what Marvel will be doing for the 50th Anniversary of everybody’s favorite Wall Crawler. Ok, that’s probably a slight exaggeration.

Spider-Man is not everybody’s favorite Wall Crawler… At least, not anymore. As far as wall crawling goes, I’ve become quite partial to Cole MacGrath from the InFamous video games.

Yup, in this day and age the Spider-Man Marvel has forced down our throats is that easily replaced. In fact, the company showed just how easy it is to plug ‘n play a New Spider-Man when they killed off the Ultimate line’s Peter Parker and immediately replaced him with mild-mannered Miles Morales.

So, what are Marvel’s BIG PLANS for Spidey’s 50th Anniversary?

Will they do the right thing and bring back Pete and MJ’s marriage? Will the Amazing Spider-Man monthly comic finally revert to telling fun stories with a competent writer? (Personally I’d like to see either Jeff Parker or Christos Gage take over the book.) Will Joey Q dramatically acknowledge the fact that he has ruined Spider-Man for an entire generation and tearfully resign from Marvel?

Why don’t we ask Ultimate Spider-Man scribe Brian (No More Mutants) Bendis what blockbuster story he’s cooked up that’s worthy of the Web Head’s Half Century Birthday Bash:

“For the 50th anniversary of Spider-Man, what everyone was looking for was a Spider-Man story that mattered. Well, here you go.”

The story that “matters” is referencing the Spider-Men mini-series being released in July– where “our” Peter Parker will meet, probably fight and then most likely team-up with Marvel’s current Ultimate Spider-Man, the aforementioned bland cupcake Miles Morales.

Don’t ya just love the whole dismissive “Well, here you go” bit? Kinda makes Bendis sound like, “This is all I got, chumps. Take it our leave it.” But Marvel and their employees would never treat their fans like that… Right?

Really. This is it? This is all we’re getting for Spidey’s actual, monumental FIFTY YEAR anniversary? Note this isn’t some made up promotional hocus pocus or some hokey event artificially achieved by some dodgy numbering scheme (Wolverine #600). It’s actually been 50 years since Spider-Man first appeared in Amazing Fantasy #15.

I don’t know about you, but this lame “event” certainly seems FITTING for the current Spider-Man, doesn’t it? Instead of some awe-inspiring, imaginatively memorable tale– we get a FIVE ISSUE story that pretty much seems built around a marketing gimmick… A story that, back in the day, would have been a ONE ISSUE oddity told in the old Marvel Team-Up comic.

The only people who must truly think Spider-Men “matters” are Brian Bendis and Marvel’s Accountants. And I believe the only reason this cross-over “matters” to Bendis is because he’s tried so damn hard to make Miles Morales matter… To make him relevant. And whether you love or dislike the character, the truth is Morales will one day become nothing more than a footnote in Spider-Man’s long history… And to waste what should be a historic anniversary for Spider-Man in such a manner is just sad.

You know what a a better story would have been… And would’ve probably ended up mattering? If “our” Peter Parker could have met and teamed up with the younger version of himself– the Ultimate Universe’s Peter Parker. Then maybe “our” Peter would realize what a complete jackhole he’s become and change his ways for the better. But that will never happen now since Marvel allowed Bendis to kill Ultimate U Pete for a slight bump in sales for some polybagged comics.

Ya, that mess was totally worth it… Just like I’m sure Spider-Men will be.

Via [CBR]

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18 Responses to Marvel Announces Plans for Spider-Man’s 50th Anniversary, Fans Yawn

  1. ed2962 says:

    What gives me pause is that I’m pretty sure that several years ago Joe Q said that they probably wouldn’t have the 616 characters meet the Ultimate Universe. That if it happened, it meant Marvel was out of ideas…

  2. Locusmortis says:

    I’ve never been the biggest Spider-Man fan but this idea from Bendis is lamer than hell. Even though I’ve heaped abuse on him in the last few years, the only quintessential Spider-Man story I can recall from the last few years is Spider-Man Blue. Now of course a lot of the reason for that stories success was Tim Sales artwork and his beautiful covers but Loeb put in a pretty good story that worked in tandem with the art. Its just a pity that later on he decided to phone in scripts that were full of dumb

  3. withoutfear86 says:

    I’m currently reading through my Spider-Man collection and I’m in the Defalco/Frenz era. Those are some good ass comics. Those old Hobgoblin days were wonderful. I’m getting close to the Peter David era on Spec which features one of my all-time favorite stories, “The Death of Jean DeWolff.”

    As for Spider-Men, don’t care. My Spider-Man continuity ended before Civil War. Ultimate Spider-Man ended for me at issue 13. This is utter drek. Bendis needs to go away. Quesada needs to go away. I miss Jim Shooter.

  4. kurumais says:

    this will probably be a perfectly fun and forgettable story a few months after its over no one will care either way

  5. Matthew Guy says:

    With this news cue the The Price is Right losing horn sound.

    They are killing the interest & value of the character.

    Matthew

  6. Tiger Topher says:

    From Dan Slott’s Twitter:

    “For the 50th anniversary of Spider-Man what everyone was looking for was a Spider-Man story that mattered. Well, here you go.” #Thanks4That

    • Insideman says:

      Icing on that shit cake.

      We always surmised that BMB didn’t read other creator’s books… Now we know what he thinks of it as well.

      • Tiger Topher says:

        To be fair to Bendis, Marvel has shown us that what happens in the pages of Amazing Spider-Man really doesn’t matter. In the 616 universe, 20 years worth of story and character development can be thrown out the window with a snap of Mephisto’s fingers, while the stuff that happens in the Ultimate universe does seem to stick. So the Spider-Men series could matter, at least as far as Miles Morales is concerned.

        • Insideman says:

          Note: I am NOT arguing with you Tiger. I actually agree with what you’re saying– just adding a few more points.

          With all due respect to ANY CREATORS efforts, I have a hard believing that the creation of Miles Morales is anything but a calculated corporate attempt to goose sales and get publicity.

          If memory serves, at one time Bendis seemed truly jazzed to be writing Ultimate Universe variations of previous 616 stories written about Spider-man. Then, when he was killing off the Ultimate Universe Peter Parker, he seemed glad to be rid of him… Acting as if what had gone before in the 616 Universe was a great yoke around his neck that he was HAPPY to shed.

          Then– again, if memory serves– BMB said he was excited to be telling ALL NEW stories with an ALL NEW Ultimate Spider-man. So the first six issues were filled almost primarily with characters from the previous iteration of the Ultimate Spider-man series– including the female Peter Parker clone? How is that a fresh new start?

          And yes, I realize that it was inevitable that old plot threads and previous supporting characters would EVENTUALLY be brought in– it only makes sense… But I felt I was reading the SAME comic– just with a slightly different leading character… As the previous plots and plot threads still seemed to be the driving force behind the new book.

          It makes sense– if true– that Bendis can’t bothered to read other creators books. He can’t seem to be bothered to remember what HE said himself from one year to the next.

          I totally agree with your viewpoint on what seems to stick in either Universe, Tiger.

          But remember, they somehow got JMS to partially go along with their idiotic plans to dismantle Peter and MJ’s marriage… And the rest of what they changed in the 616 Universe came from creators who had long since moved on or had been carelessly discarded. Bendis still works at Marvel and was one of the original driving forces behind the Ultimate Universe… To start changing his continuity while he still works there and is still somewhat popular would be a BALLSY move I don’t think Marvel Editorial would dare attempt… Yet.

  7. ed2962 says:

    So, I was on the interwebs because ULTIMATE SPIDERMAN is the MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE OF THE DAY (joking, joking). But I saw a comment by someone that brought up the fact that similar ruse was used during that Ultimate Fantastic Four storyline that introduced the Marvel Zombie Universe. I thought, oh my God! He’s right, this could easily be another switcheroo. It could turn out to be one of the numerous clones from the “Ultimate Clone Saga” aged. Then I thought, hmm…this is a slightly different recycled idea, but it’s still a recycled idea.

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