I have been waiting in anticipation for YEARS to hear news of what Marvel will be doing for the 50th Anniversary of everybody’s favorite Wall Crawler. Ok, that’s probably a slight exaggeration.
Spider-Man is not everybody’s favorite Wall Crawler… At least, not anymore. As far as wall crawling goes, I’ve become quite partial to Cole MacGrath from the InFamous video games.
Yup, in this day and age the Spider-Man Marvel has forced down our throats is that easily replaced. In fact, the company showed just how easy it is to plug ‘n play a New Spider-Man when they killed off the Ultimate line’s Peter Parker and immediately replaced him with mild-mannered Miles Morales.
So, what are Marvel’s BIG PLANS for Spidey’s 50th Anniversary?
Will they do the right thing and bring back Pete and MJ’s marriage? Will the Amazing Spider-Man monthly comic finally revert to telling fun stories with a competent writer? (Personally I’d like to see either Jeff Parker or Christos Gage take over the book.) Will Joey Q dramatically acknowledge the fact that he has ruined Spider-Man for an entire generation and tearfully resign from Marvel?
Why don’t we ask Ultimate Spider-Man scribe Brian (No More Mutants) Bendis what blockbuster story he’s cooked up that’s worthy of the Web Head’s Half Century Birthday Bash:
“For the 50th anniversary of Spider-Man, what everyone was looking for was a Spider-Man story that mattered. Well, here you go.”
The story that “matters” is referencing the Spider-Men mini-series being released in July– where “our” Peter Parker will meet, probably fight and then most likely team-up with Marvel’s current Ultimate Spider-Man, the aforementioned bland cupcake Miles Morales.
Don’t ya just love the whole dismissive “Well, here you go” bit? Kinda makes Bendis sound like, “This is all I got, chumps. Take it our leave it.” But Marvel and their employees would never treat their fans like that… Right?
Really. This is it? This is all we’re getting for Spidey’s actual, monumental FIFTY YEAR anniversary? Note this isn’t some made up promotional hocus pocus or some hokey event artificially achieved by some dodgy numbering scheme (Wolverine #600). It’s actually been 50 years since Spider-Man first appeared in Amazing Fantasy #15.
I don’t know about you, but this lame “event” certainly seems FITTING for the current Spider-Man, doesn’t it? Instead of some awe-inspiring, imaginatively memorable tale– we get a FIVE ISSUE story that pretty much seems built around a marketing gimmick… A story that, back in the day, would have been a ONE ISSUE oddity told in the old Marvel Team-Up comic.
The only people who must truly think Spider-Men “matters” are Brian Bendis and Marvel’s Accountants. And I believe the only reason this cross-over “matters” to Bendis is because he’s tried so damn hard to make Miles Morales matter… To make him relevant. And whether you love or dislike the character, the truth is Morales will one day become nothing more than a footnote in Spider-Man’s long history… And to waste what should be a historic anniversary for Spider-Man in such a manner is just sad.
You know what a a better story would have been… And would’ve probably ended up mattering? If “our” Peter Parker could have met and teamed up with the younger version of himself– the Ultimate Universe’s Peter Parker. Then maybe “our” Peter would realize what a complete jackhole he’s become and change his ways for the better. But that will never happen now since Marvel allowed Bendis to kill Ultimate U Pete for a slight bump in sales for some polybagged comics.
Ya, that mess was totally worth it… Just like I’m sure Spider-Men will be.