Here’s Today’s Big Story in America!
Rolling Stone magazine’s got a bunch of climate experts agreeing that huge chunks of Florida (especially low-lying Miami and the Everglades) will be far underwater by the end of this century… US Authorities have issued a one of a kind al-Qaida travel warning… And Prince George’s swaddle-maker has been deluged with orders… And the BIG NEWS STORY in the US?
Time-Warner Cable has taken all CBS Network programming off their cable systems in just THREE cities– Los Angeles, New York and Dallas– over a fee dispute. In further debilitating news to the masses simply devastated by this development, Time-Warner has also mind-numbingly decided to include CBS-owned Showtime Pay Cable Network (and, let’s face it– some other smaller cable networks too bothersome to mention) in their take-away gambit too.
So fuck ya Global Warming, Royal Baby Clothing manufacturers and Sad-Ass Terrorists… You may all think you deserve some publicity– but someone in one of these huge American cities might not be able to watch the Sunday episode of the lame-ass, bigoted reality show Big Brother… Or heaven forbid, might be forced to miss an episode of the CONTINUOUSLY UNDERWHELMING Brian K. Vaughn adaptation of Stephen King’s Under the Dome on Monday. (If this little rate tiff even lasts that long.)
Good thing Hulu, Hulu Plus, On Demand, iTunes and other direct downloading/viewing options don’t exist. We wouldn’t want these cities missing out on CBS’s Summer Pablum to keep us from discussing the real issues of the day.
[CBS Ad Cube Pic per Deadline]