Every month I pre-order comics, trades and other related items from Previews magazine. Even though there is information online for just about everything, I still find the Previews catalog to be the simplest way to scan through the different items and to get some inspiration on what I want to buy.

There’s lots of stuff being offered by Diamond this month: Plenty of great stuff and plenty of crap too… So I will try to sort the wheat from the chaff and hopefully point out some good items that you might order or buy from your LCS or Online Retailer. Our tastes may differ– so if you buy something and I hate it… Don’t blame me. I did my best to warn you!

Editor’s Note

One last catch-up column from Locusmortis… And then we’ll be back on a regular schedule! In the meantime, enjoy the inventive and hilarious writing (as always)!

These products saw release during the first half of 2014.

The STATUS in the description of each product indicates the likelihood of whether I’m going to order it ranging from Firm Order as the most likely to a POS (Piece of Shit)– with everything else being somewhere in between. I’m sure you can figure it out!

Star Wars – Rebel Heist #2
32 Pages
$3.50

Status: Trade-waiting

Additional Notes: A Han Solo story written by Matt Kindt? Sounds like a good prospect to me… Plus the art looks pretty good too.


Conan The Avenger
32 Pages
$3.50

Status: Firm Order

Additional Notes: I suffered through the Brian Wood’s lame take on Conan– so this can’t be any worse than that.


Marvel Classic Character X-Men 94 #2 – Wolverine
$49.95

Status: POS

Additional Notes: I’m starting to think these statues are parodies. I mean, no one would actually buy one– except as a joke.

Batman Eternal
32 Pages
$2.99 (Per Week)

Status: POS

Additional Notes: Or “Batman Interminable” as I like to call it. Isn’t there enough fucking Batman stuff on the shelves already!? Is DC so creatively bankrupt they can only rely on the same characters to prop up their creaking New 52? (Rhetorical question.)
Justice League #30
32 Pages
$3.99

Status: Certified Shit

Additional Notes: This is where DC pretty much rips off Dark Avengers by putting Lex Luthor in charge of the Justice League. Geoff Johns is the scripter, so you know it’s going to be quality…

Nightwing #30
40 Pages
$3.99

Status: POS

Additional Notes: Nightwing dies! Or he doesn’t. Who cares really?
Justice League War- Wonder Woman Action Figure
$19.95

Status: POS

Additional Notes: DC seems to have given Wonder Woman a teeny head, way out of proportion to the rest of her body. I guess her brain needs to be the small in order for her to even contemplate dating Superman.

Shazam Vol 1 TP
192 Pages
$16.99

Status: POS

Additional Notes: Ah, Captain Arsehole is back!

Watchman TP
192 Pages
$16.99

Status: POS

Additional Notes: Memo from DC Entertainment President Diane Nelson: “That Brit still ain’t getting his rights back! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Vertigo Quarterly – Cyan #1
80 Pages
$7.99

Status: Hmmm

Additional Notes: This project has the smell of an Editor who’s been sidelined– then given something to keep them busy. Still, you never know… It might turn out not to be a pile of self-indulgent shit.
Batman Utility Belt Prop Replica
$299.99
Status: Shit

Additional Notes: A $300 replica of a fucking belt. If I need to explain any more, you’re as dumb as the idiots DC expects to buy this shit.

Action Comics Vol 4 – Hybrid HC
200 Pages
$24.99

Status: POS

Additional Notes: I absolutely LOVE the fact Andy Diggle gets first billing on this hardcover– despite being thrown under the bus by DC editorial after only ONE issue (in favor of the abysmal Scott Lobdell.)

Doom Patrol Omnibus
1200 Pages
$150.00

Status: Tempted

Additional Notes: A full omnibus of Grant Morrison’s first– and what some might say (i.e. ME!) best– American comic work sounds VERY tempting. However, with DC’s ongoing problems with omnibus bindings– I’m going to wait for reviews on this one before taking the plunge on it.

Steranko Nick Fury – Agent of Shield Artists Edition HC
176 Pages
$129.99

Status: If I Won the Lottery

Additional Notes: This is going to be fucking AMAZING. Pity I can’t fucking afford it!

The Red Star Treasury Edition
64 Pages
$9.99

Status: Firm Order

Additional Notes: The Red Star was one of my favourite comics in the early 2000s, then it just disappeared without a trace. This is a reprint of some of the stories from annuals– and the art alone makes this a must have.

The Beautiful War #1
32 Pages
$3.99

Status: Trade-waiting

Additional Notes: I’m a sucker for Ashley Wood’s art– I just love it. I’m going to wait for this to come out in a nice collected edition.

Star Trek New Visions #1 The Mirror, Cracked
48 Pages
$7.99

Status: Firm Order

Additional Notes: Creator John Byrne may have become the grouchy old man of comics– but to hell with it. I’m getting this anyway because I just like the look of it.

Shutter #2
32 pages
$3.50

Status: Trade-waiting

Additional Notes: The art alone piques my interest… And the plot synopsis sounds like an exciting action-adventure series.

Jan’s Atomic Heart and Other Stories OGN
112 Pages
$14.99

Status: Firm Order

Additional Notes: 112 pages of Simon Roy’s own stories and art. What more could you fucking ask for?

Rat Queens Vol 1 – Sass and Sorcery
112 Pages
$14.99

Status: Firm Order

Additional Notes: I’ve been waiting for this to come out. Kurtis Wiebe is one of the best writers out there at the moment and you get 5 issues for 10 bucks. Take that Marvel, you money-grubbing cunts!
Undertow #2
32 pages
$2.99

Status: Trade-waiting

Additional Notes: The art looks great… But that’s all I can say at the moment. It might be worth a go.
Revenge #1
32 pages
$2.99

Status: Certified Shit

Additional Notes: It looks like Jonathan Ross (a shitty UK Chat Show host) is taking a leaf out of Mark Millar’s book by going for shock tactics instead of story. This looks like a vapid excuse for gory visuals.

The Mercenary Sea #1
32 Pages
$2.99

Status: Trade-waiting

Additional Notes: I’m not familiar with the creators, but the inter-war action adventure story (plus the sweet looking art) make this an interesting proposition.

Prophet Vol 3 Empire TP
128 Pages
$14.99

Status: Firm Order

Additional Notes: Consistently the best American comic for the last couple of years. Do yourself a huge favor and buy it.

MPH #1
32 Pages
$2.99

Status: POS

Additional Notes: Yet another shitty Millar movie pitch disguised as a comic.

Cavewoman – Karnival One-Shot
24 Pages
$3.75

Status: POS

Additional Notes: Was this cover drawn with the artist using his feet? Christy Brown could do better than this…
Heisenborg T-Shirt
$21.99 – 24.99

Status: POS

Additional Notes: Yet another in Antarctic’s line of shitty “genre” t-shirts. They must have been smoking too much dope when they approved this badly drawn piece of crap.

Vampirella – The Essential Warren Years Vol 1 TP
448 Pages
$24.99

Status: Recommended

Additional Notes: If you haven’t had the good sense to buy the hardcover archives, then go and buy this immediately, ya maroon!

Afterlife with Archie Vol 1: Escape from Riverdale
160 Pages
$17.99

Status: Tempted

Additional Notes: Artist Francesco Francavilla’s name on this project is enough to make it interesting. Adding to the intrigue: Archie Comics finally seems to have escaped from the shitty “Happy Days Meets Gidget” style of writing they’ve had for decades.

Uber Vol 1 TP
176 Pages
$19.99

Status: Certified Shit Trade of the Month

Additional Notes: Quite possibly the WORST comic of 2013. I would never approve of burning books… Except in rare cases like this.
Herobear & The Kid – Saving Time #1
32 pages
$3.99

Status: Trade-waiting

Additional Notes: So, regular readers of this column might know I loved Mike Kunkel’s previous Herobear books… So I don’t see and reason why that might change. Great art + stories with heart. What more do you need?

Flash Gordon #1
32 Pages
$3.99

Status: Tempted

Additional Notes: What’s going on at Dynamite? First they start hiring decent interior artists– now they hire a good writer (Jeff Parker) and not the usual jobbers they normally have on script duties?

Chaos #1
32 Pages
$3.99

Status: Hmmmm

Additional Notes: Let’s hope writer Tim Seeley can craft some stories that are better than the utter shite that original publisher, Choas Inc., barfed out back in the late 90s.

Mircleman Book 1 – A Dream of Flying HC
152 Pages
$29.99

Status: Hurmmmm….

Additional Notes: I love the fact that Marvel can’t put Alan Moore’s name on these books. BWAHAHAHAHA!

Girls und Panzer Vol 1
180 pages
$12.99

Status: Firm Order

Additional Notes: A girls’ school starts a tank driving and maintenance class. Just another normal day in Japan.The Art of John Harris – Beyond the Horizon HC
160 Pages
$34.95

Status: Recommended

Additional Notes: Creator John Harris is one of the best sci-fi paperback book artists of all time. Totally recommended.

Soap – The Unauthorized Inside Story of the Sitcom That Broke All the Rules
456 Pages
$29.95

Status: Tempted

Additional Notes: I remember watching this as reruns during weird times of the day. It always seemed unusual compared to most American sitcoms of the early 80s… It was actually funny.

Illustrators Magazine #6
96 Pages
$24.99

Status: Firm Order

Additional Notes: Chiefly recommended because it covers the late great Graham Coton— one of the UK Comic Industry’s best cover artists.

Console Wars – Sega, Nintendo and the Battle That Defined a Generation
320 Pages
$26.99

Status: Tempted

Additional Notes: If you were of a certain age during the 90s, you’ll remember Sega vs Nintendo.

Judge Dredd: Underbelly Comic T-Shirt
$19.99

Status: Tempted

Additional Notes: A legitimately awesome looking T-Shirt.A Song of Ice and Fire: Dire Wolf Cub Plushies
$54.95

Status: POS

Additional Notes: For fuck’s sake, these leave me speechless…

Tonner Avatar Dolls
$799.99

Status: Certified Overpriced POS of the Month

Additional Notes: Hopefully some of the royalties from this overpriced garbage will go to the people Cameron stole his Avatar concepts from.

Star Wars Kenner Inspired – Bespin Luke Jumbo Action Figure
$80.00

Status: POS

Additional Notes: So, it’s OK to charge a premium for ugly figures that look nothing like the person they’re modeled after because it’s “nostalgia”? Not too bad a business plan… As long as you find enough fucking morons to go along with you.
Marvel Comics Juggernaut Danger Room Session Fine Art Statue
$279.99

Status: POS

Additional Notes: This looks incredibly BORING. It’s coloured brown and beige with a side order of more brown.

Doctor Who – British Icon 12-inch Dalek
$109.99

Status: POS

Additional Notes: The Daleks go Brit-Pop. Instead of saying “Exterminate” they start singing “Wonderwall”.


3A X Iron Man Figure
$230.00

Status: POS

Additional Notes: Iron Man needs to wear shoulder pads now? Bleeeeeegh!

Scarface Wacky Wobbler
$12.99

Status: POS

Additional Notes: Who in the fuck would want one of these?

Game of Thrones Map Ceramic Stein
$22.99

Status: Tempted

Additional Notes: Plan your conquest of Westeros while drinking a hearty ale! Repeat when able…
Galaxy Railways – The Box Set
$29.98

Status: Recommended

Additional Notes: It’s from Matsumoto Leiji. That’s truly all you need to know!

The Wicker Man
$5.99 DVD / $16.99 Blu ray

Status: Recommended

Additional Notes: One of the best horror films ever– with Christopher Lee at his most compelling… In a tale of pagan religion having sway over a small Scottish island. Make sure you get the Final Cut version.

The Rutles Anthology
$24.95

Status: Tempted

Additional Notes: An almost forgotten gem of 70s British comedy. This is what Eric Idle got up to after the Monty Python TV Show concluded.


Mr. Magoo – The Theatrical Collection 1949-1959
$34.93

Status: POS

Additional Notes: Am I the only one that fucking hated Mr. Magoo cartoons when they were on TV? Quite possibly the most boring fucking cartoon ever… Aside from those Pink Panther ones from the 70s.
The 2001 File
188 Pages
£45.00

Status: Tempted

Additional Notes: Some people think 2001 is one of the most boring films of all time. I’m not one of those people. I think it’s fucking epic, and this should be an epic book about the art, design and creation of the film.


The Big Bang Theory – Soft Kitty Singing Plush
£24.99

Status: POS

Additional Notes: Pardon me while I puke…

We’re now into Summer, so the “Big Two” (Marvel & DC) are unveiling their craptastic tentpole projects that you’ll have to wade through for the rest of the year. However, there’s still some quality stuff out there– especially from Image, Dark Horse and IDW. As ever, Previews is chock full of some of the shittiest merchandise you’ll find on the planet… And I fucking love it.